All Text, Music, and Illustrations, including Paintings, Photographs, and 3D models, Copyright © 2022 by Jim Robbins.
Two of Swords
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BLIND
Words and Music By Jim Robbins
Can you still see me or only what’s missing? Can you still see me or only my affliction?
Once we seemed to know each other in every possible light,
And sometimes I could look at you as though looking into a mirror,
Yet you were always a better version of myself.
You gave me kindness, compassion, selfless love,
And I was better with you than I was alone. I was greater with you than I was just by myself.
Now it seems like I’m hiding in plain sight.
I can be standing right in front of you, yet it seems like you don’t really see me.
Can you see me, really see me, anymore?
If I tried to hide from you would you ever find me?
When I used to look at you I saw a better version of myself,
But now I look in our mirror and your eyes look right through me.
Am I in some crazy dream where you can never see me?
But now I feel like less than myself, less than half.
Once I was better with you than I was alone. I was greater with you than I was just by myself.
Can you still see me or only what’s missing? Can you still see me or only my affliction?
Once I wore myself out trying to hide from you.
I dashed through meadows and splashed through clouds
To hide in caves and trees, but you always found me,
As if you knew me better than I knew myself.
Once I was better with you than I was alone. I was greater with you than I was just by myself,
Did I climb some tree that is too high for you? Did I find some cave that is just too dark for you?
Did I run away on a path that you just can’t find?
I am right here, right here in front of you!
As Simon paced back and forth in Princess Ariadne’s room, muttering to himself, the Princess tried to get his attention. She shouted at him and even slapped his face, but her hand passed right through him. Simon could not see her or hear her even though she stood right in front of him. At one point the princess managed to knock the golden cup onto the floor, and Simon knew she was still there, struggling like a ghost to get his attention.
The princess kept talking to Simon; occasionally he thought he heard her whisper. And Simon kept talking to her to reassure her that everything would be all right.
Katie experienced several hallucinations while in the hospital. At one point, she believed that she was in an ambulance parked in front of her house and that the doctors and nurses could knock on the door of her house whenever they needed to talk to her husband. At another time, she believed that she had been wheeled into the trunk of a large tree in Madera, where an East Indian family was taking care of her. Another time, she believed that she was in a ship that was stopping at different docks in San Francisco. She would always argue with the nurses, trying to convince them of her reality. She claimed over and over that she was not delusional. The mind can play tricks after a physical trauma.
icu update
Last night Katie saw two demons in the icu,
about the size of children, but swears she
is not delusional. Nurse says 90 percent
of patients in icu become delirious due to lack
of rem sleep. Today Katie believes that the icu
is in a boat that is stopping at different docks
in san francisco. she keeps hearing seals
barking. the different machines in her room?
You might be tempted to dismiss what I am about to describe to you as delusional. When I was forty-two, I started meditating to relieve stress, and I read a book that recommended a process of mental purification to achieve a deeper level of relaxation and optimal health. The book, the name of which I have forgotten, suggests visualizing each of the seven primary chakras as a turning margarita glass. The primary chakras follow a rainbow pattern of colors. Red is associated with the root chakra. The sacral chakra in the stomach region is orange. The solar plexus chakra is yellow. The heart center is green, the throat chakra is pale blue, the third eye chakra between the brows is violet, and the crown chakra is brilliant white. During this purification process you are supposed to visualize the impurities and mentally wipe them out with a damp, white cloth.
I was surprised that I could easily visualize the chakras with my third eye, or what is commonly known as the mind's eye. The root chakra is associated with being grounded in physical reality. When I gazed into my root chakra, I saw nothing but brown muck. I mentally wiped and wiped my turning margarita glass with my white cloth, but I couldn't get all of the muck out. Undaunted, I continued the next day until it appeared that the muck was gone. Then I moved to the sacral chakra, associated with sexuality, creativity, and emotions, and to my surprise I discovered a blue film coating the orange margarita. Again, it took me a long time to wipe out the blue film.
I discovered later that the chakras of complimentary colors regulate each other. My throat chakra was dampening the sacral chakra to repress my emotions, something most of us must do in this society. Feeling blue, anyone?
When I gazed with my mind's eye into the solar plexus chakra, associated with wisdom, the intellect, and personal power, I saw an extremely bright yellow, so bright that it seemed way out of balance. Growing up a male in this society I was often encouraged to be dominant and in control; I realized that shining such a bright yellow light was one way of subtly attempting to establish dominance. I wiped out the chakra to get it more into balance.
icu update
Her recovery borders on the miraculous. She
Has a spirit hard to equal. Go Fish though
a little too complicated at this point.
My heart chakra was totally black, which worried me because my father had died of a heart attack at the age of fifty-five. I have experienced more than my share of betrayal and lies and backstabbing, so I wasn't surprised to discover blackness in my heart. I spent hours wiping the blackness away, but it nevertheless returns occasionally because this society deluges us with negative energies, so I am still vigilant when it comes to my heart center.
Since I am artistically inclined, I spend a great deal of time expressing myself, so I wasn't surprised that my throat chakra was totally free of negative energies. My third eye chakra was another matter. I spent hours pulling black blindfolds that were tied together out of that chakra. The last blindfold was white. I soon unexpectedly began to have visions of spiritual symbols.
In order for you to understand why I pray to the Archangel Raphael, I need tell a story that you might remember from an earlier post. Long ago, people would tell stories around a fire, and sometimes a person would repeat a story but change or add some details in order for the audience to experience a larger context in order to have a deeper understanding of the underlying themes. I am going to be just like such an ancient storyteller now. With stories, we create our reality. The following story has shaped my reality for the past two decades. This society tells itself a very different story.
One afternoon, while deep in the process of mentally cleansing my chakras, I had a vision of a gray, horizontal figure-eight above my head. I had no idea what it meant. Several days later I went shopping at a bookstore for a present and suddenly felt compelled to buy a pack of Tarot cards and a book about the Tarot for myself. As the cashier was ringing up the items, he confided that he had been thinking about "getting back into" the Tarot himself. Not knowing quite how to respond, I paused, then suddenly the word "synchronicity" popped out of my mouth. I confess that at the time I wasn't even sure what the word meant. The cashier smiled and handed me my purchase, and I then drove to another store on a different errand.
The Magician: Path 12 on Tree of Life
Before I got out of the car, I flipped through the book and stopped at a page with a striking photo of a man named Carl Jung. I read the text below and discovered that Carl Jung had coined the term synchronicity to suggest how events in the external world can significantly mirror the symbolic world of the subconscious mind, linking events by meaning as well as by causality. I then opened the pack of Tarot cards. The second card in the deck, known as “The Magician,” reveals a man with a gray figure-eight floating horizontally above his head. I flipped through the book to a description of "The Magician" and discovered that the horizontal figure-eight, known as an infinity symbol, or lemniscate, symbolizes the knowledge of the infinitude within. I discovered later that the Tarot dovetails in every conceivable way with the Tree of Life, the mystical glyph containing the symbol system of the Qabalah.
It also became clear to me that the Tree of Life is an expanded version of the seven primary chakras, with three pillars that represent polarities within the chakra system. In simplified terms, the pillar on the right represents force, the one on the left represents form, and the middle pillar represents balance. So it was no coincidence that I began to have visions of symbols associated with the Tarot and the Tree of Life while I was cleansing my chakras.
I eventually understood a key concept of spiritual development: Different spiritual dimensions are associated with the primary chakras within the human aura; therefore, the stimulation and awakening of a chakra can be a life-altering event. Moreover, like the physical body, each chakra within the personal energy field needs to be stimulated and nourished by the corresponding spiritual energies of the Universal Energy Field. If you doubt me, examine the pantheons of the Gods and Goddesses or Archangels and Angels and Saints of the major religions: They are symbolic representations of basic (archetypal) spiritual energies that exist in both the Universal Mind and in the Tree of Life within the human aura. The personal energy field of the aura reflects the Universal Energy Field, which is how humans are made in God's image and why humans are gods.
Chakras, in other words, are links to other dimensions and need energies from those spiritual dimensions as much as the physical body needs food. That is why major religions throughout history feature pantheons of Angels or Gods; the religions personify the archetypal energies as idealized human beings to make the energies more understandable, but they are unseen subtle forces, not humans. Through worship of the Gods or Angels, an individual can connect with the archetypal spiritual energies of the Universal Energy Field, thereby sustaining and empowering the different dimensions within the psyche.
Besides the mental purification practices, there was another reason that I could see archetypal symbols from the higher astral plane during meditation: I had experienced exultation many times in nature and through the arts, which resulted in an expansion of consciousness that ultimately opened a door to transpersonal spiritual dimensions—even though I was not religious. Because I was miserable most of the time due to a chronic illness, I became an “exultation junkie.” I lived for spiritual inebriation, which usually occurred either when I was relaxed and tuned to the vibrations of the natural world, when I was listening to music, or when my mind went into “hyper-focus” while painting or writing or composing music.
icu update
She is sitting up and eating soft foods. She can
stand with help. Can move left side more. Still
telling jokes. I don’t think she has complained
once, just wants to go home.
I envisioned a few of the symbols many times, the most persistent being the golden, equal-armed cross with indistinct angels at each end, the golden plate and chalice on the brilliant white tablecloth, and the golden crown. I finally realized that together the golden symbols represent the harmony, abundance, and magnificence of the human spirit. I discovered later that the golden, equal-armed cross with the angels at each end also symbolizes the basic structure of occult banishing and invoking rituals.
The Qabalist uses the basic structure of the equal-armed cross to perform rituals based on the four cardinal directions—east, south, west and north, respectively—to invoke Archangels who rule the Elements of the Wise: Archangel Raphael (Air), Archangel Michael (Fire), Archangel Gabriel (Water), and Archangel Uriel (Earth). These four elements represent subtle energies close to the physical plane, not the elements in the periodic table. The banishing ritual, known as The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram (LBRP) clears an area of negative energies and has effectively kept negative entities of all types away from my aura. The invoking ritual, known as The Supreme Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram (SIRP), has helped to heal my weakened etheric body with powerful elemental energies.
After I realized that the equal-armed cross with indistinct angels at each end on one level symbolizes the basic structure of the banishing and invoking rituals, I started performing the rituals, purely for the sake of experiment. One day, even though I felt that I was performing the invoking ritual very awkwardly, I suddenly felt like I was being swarmed by innumerable points of light emanating from the Archangel Raphael. Then I found myself in a thought bubble of startling complexity. In my mind's eye, I saw mathematical symbols and equations floating all around me, which was odd, since I am not mathematically inclined, and I experienced a profound sense of eternity. In terms of intellectual and spiritual development, I felt like an amoeba in comparison to that astonishing being. Ever since then I have prayed to the Archangel Raphael for healing whenever I am ill, and I tend to bounce back almost immediately.
icu update
Her recovery borders on the miraculous. No
longer on any meds! Might be transferred out
of icu tomorrow. Friends all over, people in
book clubs, churches, even the raider nation
praying for her!
Go, Katie!
That next day I performed the invoking ritual again but neglected to perform the banishing ritual afterwards. At the time, I slept in the guest room because I snored, and my wife is a light sleeper. That night, just as I was falling asleep, something shook me so violently that I thought all my cells were going to fly apart. Shocked, I lay still a moment and then turned on the light. My dog was sleeping peacefully in the corner of the room, but no one else was there. The door was locked. Everyone else in the house was asleep. I turned off the light and stretched out again, and just as I was falling asleep, something nudged my ribs four times, hard. Again, I turned on the light, but I did not see anyone else in the room. The next day as I was working alone in the guest room, which is also my studio, something made a farting noise right behind my head. No one else was in the house.
Oddly, I was not completely terrified by the paranormal activity. I performed the banishing ritual in the morning and the evening, and the entity stopped bothering me. However, the entity started targeting my wife and daughter. My wife started having nightmares during which she would stand up and swing her fists at the air and yell at some invisible foe. When she woke up, she had no memory of battling an invisible enemy. She did, however, remember dreaming about strange entities, such as a man in a long, black nightgown, and a figure that she described as a “log man,” and a bird that flew under her door.
My daughter started hearing a man whimpering in her closet at night. Then one evening while she was sitting on her bed, she heard a voice say, “Don’t turn around.” When she turned, she could clearly see a figure that looked like black smoke standing at the foot of her bed. It suddenly leapt onto the ceiling and then jumped from wall to wall. Scared to death, she dashed out of her room. I performed the banishing ritual in every room of the house after that, and the activity died down.
The rituals include the pentagram, or five-pointed star. Thanks to the media, people nowadays tend to be familiar only with the inverted pentagram used by satanic cults. Many people consequently believe that all pentagrams are evil, which could not be farther from the truth. Every spiritual symbol, like the cross or the pentagram, has the potential to be turned upside down, just as all divine energies can be perverted by unbalanced individuals. The pentagram is actually a symbol representing the most harmonious force in the cosmos, the Christ-force, the five pointed star combining five elements, or levels of being, in absolute balance. Just as importantly, the pentagram can be used in ritual to bring energy harmoniously down the planes from spirit to matter.
The pentagram has several significant meanings. First of all, the pentagram is drawn in one continuous motion, suggesting its unity of form, but unlike the circle, which has no beginning or end, one can begin drawing the pentagram at any of its five points, each of which have various symbolic associations. The pentagram reveals the unity of Earth, Air, Water, and Fire, and the fifth element of Spirit, or Aether. This reflects the esoteric doctrine that four visible states have their root in a fifth, invisible state.
Like the circle, the pentagram establishes a boundary. In order to invoke any spiritual energy, a boundary must be established for the appropriate energy to manifest in a concentrated form. The pentagram is also used to banish unwanted energies so that desired energies can then be invoked in a purer state. As a five-pointed figure, the pentagram stems from the Emanation (Sephira), or state of being, represented as the fifth sphere on the Tree of Life known as Geburah (meaning “power” or “severity”). Geburah restricts and controls energy on all levels of being in the same way that a combustion engine controls force so that the engine will run and the vehicle will operate. In other words, the severity of Geburah restricts force in a harmonious and productive manner.
So it is appropriate that the pentagram is a figure representing the most harmonious force in the cosmos, the Christ-force. This is so because the elements and the letters of a familiar name of God, also known as the Tetragrammaton, are positioned on the points of the star to reflect this symbolic meaning. The Tetragrammaton contains the Hebrew letters Yod Heh Vau Heh, which spells Yahweh, or Jehovah. Reflecting how manifestation occurs down through the planes of force and form, Yod represents the element of Fire, Heh represents Water, Vau Air, and final Heh Earth. Each of these elements is associated with a suit in the Tarot, Fire with Wands, Water with Cups, Air with Swords, and Earth with Pentacles. To continue the association chain, in simple terms Fire represents the spiritual will, Water the archetypal plane, Air the astral plane (sometimes referred to as the plane of emotion), and Earth the physical plane. If you add the Hebrew letter Shin, which represents the Aether at the top point of the star, you form a new word, "Yeheshua," the name of Christ.
The banishing ritual clears a space of all negative energies, leaving only the Christ-force within the circle. Over the following weeks and months that I performed the ritual, I eventually realized that during the banishing ritual my ego slips away and I experience myself as a point of harmony and light. Eventually during the ritual, I began to see myself as a brilliant sun. My ego disappears, as well as all thoughts about who I am or should be. I realize now that this state can be extremely unbalancing for anyone who relies entirely on the ego for survival, so I do not walk around recommending that everyone try it. However, it is a simple but effective way that over time enables the soul to experience the Christ-force--if the ritual is performed effectively.
I, of course, could argue till I am blue in the face with skeptics about the authenticity of my spiritual visions and experiences. I believe, however, that it was more than coincidence that I envisioned archetypal symbols associated with an ancient spiritual tradition after I had cleansed my primary chakras, symbols that form the basis of the complex mystical system known as the Tree of Life. Before then, I was an atheist who had no knowledge whatsoever of the existence of these symbols. I often had to do research to figure out their meaning. In a few weeks, my materialistic point of view vanished, transforming me from atheist to spiritual seeker. Based on my experience, I realized that we are surrounded by the energy of different dimensions that exist outside the range of our physical senses. All energy is vibration, and we cause vibrations in the collective unconscious and the Universal Mind with our thoughts and feelings. I discovered that human beings through ritual and meditation and prayer can cause vibrations in the subtle dimensions, and we can then receive assistance from compassionate, intelligent spiritual entities. I did not totally understand the power of prayer and meditation and ritual, however, until Katie made her miraculous recovery.
