All Text, Music, and Illustrations, including Paintings, Photographs, and 3D models, Copyright © 2022 by Jim Robbins.

Angels

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EARTH'S ANGELIC HOSTS

   Wherever I walk in the forest, I encounter angels.
   It all started one spring when my wife and I were driving on Watt's Valley Road east of Fresno, and we stopped next to a hillside blanketed by flowers. Though an agnostic, I couldn't help but mumble, “There is a God.” I returned a few years later after I had experienced a spiritual awakening through meditation, and I scrambled up the slope in the rain, my feet slogging through a tapestry of fairy lanterns, Chinese houses, tarweed, and Ithuriel's spears. That day, no matter which way I turned, magnificent arrays of flowers ravished my soul, and I eventually paused for a long time—not just because I was trying to avoid stepping on any more plants. I could sense a unique consciousness emanating from each species, a slightly different frequency of the life-force, all the species within their niche tuned to each other. Later, I read in a book on esoteric philosophy that each species in nature is the manifestation of an angelic, overarching consciousness. I like that. I like to imagine that each species is an angel that I can experience with both physical and psychic senses. I am extremely cautious while in nature because every animal has the right to survive and defend itself and its young, but after I have been in the forest awhile I tune my spirit to the energy of its angels. Even rocks seem to contain a strange, angelic energy, more primeval than the grass and trees, manifesting on earth far longer than any protoplasm.

   Recently I woke up in the middle of the night and could not get back to sleep. Suddenly, after many anxious thoughts, I found myself within the sun, and I sensed its power and light within all the manifested angels of creation. I believed that I knew my purpose, as one sometimes does in the middle of the night when one cannot sleep: I was born to spread the word that everything in nature is the dense aspect of the spiritual, each species the manifestation of an angel, each physical angel brimming with spiritual light. Then I understood why shamans connect with power animals: Each animal is one of Earth's angels, at least as significant to humans as the shining ones of other spiritual realms. As physical beings, we are always closer to Earth's angels than to nonphysical beings. In other words, it is inevitably easier to commune with the host of Earth's angels than with angels from other planes of being. These earthly angels can each give us power and knowledge and help us to survive and thrive in the material realm.
   A conventional image of an angel, of course, is a personification, a symbol, but the human mind naturally anthropomorphizes as a way to give form to the unseen realities of spirit. Some animal species, such as humans, are evolving individual consciousness, yet as humans we also retain the potential for contacting subtle forces and experiencing the underlying unity of all consciousness. The figures of angels and gods have helped the human mind make this contact throughout history. The mystical Tree of Life shows the relationships of these archetypal subtle energies; a study of the Tree reveals the types of unseen energies represented by gods and angels throughout history.
   When I woke up the next morning, of course, I came to my senses, realizing that many people, especially the most “rational” among us, would consider my new "mission" ridiculous or insane. Most atheists and religious people, I've discovered, have their own belief system already set in stone, and skepticism, if my experience is any indication, fuels agnosticism. What if, though, humanity suddenly experienced a sea change in attitude and believed that each species is one of Earth's angelic hosts and then extrapolated that Earth is the dense, physical manifestation of a spiritual Source that is both immanent and transcendent?
   As I have progressed through life, I can't help but discern patterns and abstract meaning from circumstances. I call this meaning spiritual principle. Others might call it a gestalt or some other term. For example, I have striven over the years, successfully or not, to develop myself as an artist, writer, composer, activist and spiritual seeker. Each of these pursuits has required sacrifices of time, energy, and money. In each case, I have had to give up something basic to achieve my goals, and I have had to forgive people who have harmed me along the way. (No doubt some of them have had to forgive me). When I look back, however, I realize that I have experienced an expansion of consciousness from each inspiration and each sacrifice. And, at some point during each sacrifice, I have experienced a new and larger sense of self.
   Moreover, I have come to realize that spiritual principle applies whether or not I feel religiously inclined. For instance, in retrospect, even when I was an agnostic, without knowing it, whenever I sacrificed something for beauty, justice, or truth, I was manifesting spiritual principle. Eventually, after encountering natural splendor many times, I became more aware of the existence of the higher self and the angelic hosts within nature and spiritual principle in general. I now can clearly see that my readiness for an expanded perspective developed from a series of experiences associated with inspiration and sacrifice.
   The spiritual principle known as the “Mysteries of Sacrifice,” I have discovered, consists of a process with three stages: first, of course, the actual sacrifice, the giving up of something for a greater good; then, forgiveness of anyone who harmed me along the way; and finally, transformation, a blossoming into a more inspired state of being. These stages have occurred and the spiritual principle has applied whether or not I have been the least bit concerned with religion or spiritual development.
   In the Qabalah, the Christ is a spiritual force that has manifested as different saviors and gods in cultures throughout history. In the West our savior figure is Jesus, in whose story the stages of sacrifice play out dramatically through his crucifixion, his forgiveness, and his resurrection. Each one of us, I believe, experiences these stages to some degree whenever we commit to a greater good, such as raising a family in difficult economic times, creating a work of beauty, or overthrowing a tyrant, whether in politics, academia, or the workplace.
   The process of sacrifice resembles the act of rolling a large rock up a hill, but when the person reaches the summit, he or she experiences an expansion of consciousness, a greater understanding of spiritual principle and the world and a larger sense of self. With sacrifice and forgiveness also comes freedom. The act of forgiveness itself results in a release from bitterness and anger and hatred, a cleansing that leads to a clearer perspective. Don't get me wrong—the act of forgiveness is rarely easy and often only occurs years after the actual offense, but in my experience the elimination of negativity is absolutely necessary in achieving freedom and clarity and an expansion of self.
   Sacrifice and forgiveness also result in breaking away from social conditioning. One recognizes how false and illusory are many beliefs maintained by the establishment culture, which tends to focus on hierarchies and power relationships. For me, sacrifice has led to a greater understanding of spiritual principle, which has released me from the materialistic bonds of a capitalistic society. I no longer feel compelled to gain wealth, status, or power. I am free to act according to the ideals of my higher self, to strive for harmony and exultation through the arts and spirituality. 

   This might strike a sophisticated modern human being as rather archaic. However, I have come to believe in abstractions such as truth, justice, and beauty because life has initiated me. Like many others, I have connected with subtle energies, and I know their place on the Tree of Life, the mystical glyph that reveals the evolution of the cosmos and the evolution of humanity. As I have mentioned before, Life has initiated me in one way through meditation: I had a number of visions of symbols associated with the Tree of Life—even while I was still an agnostic.
   A person often progresses from one stage to another through sacrifice, which requires intention and attention to spiritual principles, such as truth, beauty, harmony, and balance. The mind must make a commitment and focus time and energy on attaining its goal, which is a basic form of sacrifice, instead of simply focusing on feeling pleasure and avoiding pain. When rising above the Kingdom, the material plane, the mind breaks out of purely physical concerns to understand cause and effect, which on the Tree of Life is associated with the plane of intellect known as Splendor. In the sphere of Mercury, the highest virtue is truth, which is a way for the human mind to establish internal and external harmony. After a person has sacrificed in order to align with the energies of Splendor, a person is prepared to tune the mind to the harmony and beauty of nature and the arts, the sphere associated with Venus known as Victory. The mind tunes to the harmony of nature and great human works of art by “feeling with” the spirit within the creation; when a person feels a profound piece of music, for instance, he or she understands the meaning with the heart, whether or not that understanding can be articulated. When a person begins to understand with the heart, he or she is moving toward Beauty, the Emanation of harmony and selfless love and sacrifice, also known as the Christ center.
   I should make clear that I am not a Christian in the conventional sense. I am, however, living proof that a person who has never been "saved" can experience the Christ force. People throughout history have experienced the force of harmony and selfless love even if they have never heard of Christianity, but identifying with the archetype of Jesus, I believe, is an effective way of tuning the heart and soul to that energy, as long as the vice of that sphere, pride, doesn't rear its ugly head—just as identifying with Mercury can help to provide the mind with an intellectual focus or identifying with Venus can help to maintain an artistic focus and a reverence for the angelic hosts of the earth.

   Also, over the years, I have worked with activists who have kept fighting for social and environmental justice despite attacks on their credibility and reputation. I still stand in awe of them. They have revealed to me the power of sacrifice, which sometimes results in people doing the right thing just as a situation appears to be at its bleakest. When I was working as a political organizer, I was an agnostic, but I began to recognize sacrifice as a spiritual principle as I worked with so many amazing activists. In other words, I experienced the Christ-force, not in a church, but while active in politics. I witnessed how other activists sacrificed just about everything they had for a higher purpose, and they continued to fight despite being vilified, threatened, blackballed, or ruined financially.
   An activist chooses a life of sacrifice. Beyond the sacrifice of time, energy, and money, he knows that he is taking a risk when standing up to powerful people in business or academia or politics. He does not know exactly what sacrifice will be demanded but knows that it will occur. In the San Joaquin Valley, an activist learns the score pretty quickly. If an activist is effective, people in power eventually try to undermine him because he threatens their interests or reputation. Local and state governments often practice a kind of faux democracy, where political representatives go through the process of listening to testimony at public hearings in order to fulfill legal requirements, thereby maintaining the illusion that average citizens can influence the political process. Even in the most backward communities, political representatives have learned how to “dot the i's and cross the t's” for legal documents such as environmental impact reports, while relying on their staff and industry attorneys to ensure that their decisions are bullet-proof. Elected officials, however, are more often than not influenced by money, and their votes too often boil down to what is expedient and beneficial for their contributors, not what is morally right or in the public's best interest.
   Vested interests use a number of tactics to undermine activists behind the scenes. Powerful people can complain to the activist's employer, for instance. They can get politicians or business leaders to question an activist's credibility. For example, one activist in the Valley sued a developer for inadequate environmental review. During the settlement process, in which the activist demanded that the developer preserve a tract of farmland in perpetuity as mitigation, a local government official phoned the activist and stated that he had called the school district where the activist worked as a substitute. The official wanted the activist to know that he had complained about the activist's organization to the school district. When I spoke to him last, the activist had not been called to work for the school district in over a month, yet even that didn't stop him.
   I too have experienced forms of ambiguous intimidation. I have lost several jobs, for instance, one after an unscheduled evaluation where the administrator begrudgingly marked excellent in each category. He, however, refused to hold a post-evaluation meeting with me, and I discovered a few days later that I would not be rehired as a teacher at that community college. (Part-time instructors are usually hired on a semester by semester basis.) This was a few weeks after a local newspaper had published an op-ed piece of mine opposing dams on public land. I had worked as an adjunct instructor at the college for over twelve years, receiving a rating of excellent in every category on every evaluation. I had never received a reprimand or a warning, yet I was not rehired. A similar process occurred a few years later. I was still publicly opposing proposals that would benefit agribusiness and destroy public land, and I received an email informing me that I was not being rehired at the community college. This, coincidentally, was not long after a “People vs. fish” rally that members of the college took time off to attend, during which they carried signs supporting the ag industry. Some employees of the college brought their signs back to the college campus and stashed them in their offices. A few years after I had been fired, or, as the case may be, “unrehired,” scientists could only find one delta smelt in San Francisco Bay. Apparently the farmers had won their PR campaign.

   I can't, of course, prove that I was fired or unrehired for opposing the ag industry. I am, however, pretty sure I have been fired from several other jobs in academia simply for telling the truth, but since so much occurs behind closed doors, and loose lips can lead to lawsuits, I cannot provide any definite proof. Coincidentally, academia is the sphere of Mercury, where truth is the highest virtue—and deception is its vice. My experience with academia is no doubt similar to experiences in corporate culture: In academia, maintaining and supporting power relationships is usually more important than truth or merit.
   In a faux democracy, an activist can grow quite paranoid. For instance, a friend from collage called me out of the blue one evening. I hadn't heard from him in years. The first thing he asked about was an op-ed piece that I had written opposing development in the river bottom. He invited me to a party, and he and his friend and I jammed on electric guitars for most of the evening. As I was placing my guitar in the trunk of my car, for some unknown reason my friend tried to get me to drive even though I had imbibed at least four beers. He had been friendly the entire evening until I insisted that my wife drive home. Then he snarled offensive remarks that impugned my masculinity. His friend also made fun of me while I was getting into the passenger seat of the car. When I refused to drive, they both seemed to panic, as if they both were desperate to get me behind the wheel in an inebriated state. Their remarks were so vulgar and mean-spirited that I kept an eye out for a cop car, and while my wife was driving home I noticed not far from my friend's house a man sitting in what might have been an unmarked police car.
   Before that wonderful party, I had published an article critical of a judge who had fined a local activist hundreds of thousands of dollars for a frivolous lawsuit. During the last public hearing the activist had submitted testimony about the precedent-setting and growth-inducing impacts of rezoning the river bottom, and the judge considered his testimony insufficient for a lawsuit, a legal decision which could have established precedent that would have enabled developers to sue just about anyone who does not participate in every stage of a land use decision. The judge's decision was overturned on appeal, but not before the activist had been driven to bankruptcy.
   Even though we'd had a blast during the party, I never heard from my former “friend” again. Believing that a former friend might try to get me arrested on a felony DUI charge might seem like a case of extreme paranoia; I cannot help but remain in a state of agitated hyper-vigilance, however. Causing an activist's life to unravel is an extremely effective way to keep an activist from participating in the democratic process.
   For several years, I worked as the director of an effective environmental organization. I organized coalitions, testified at public hearings, spoke at press conferences, and gained public support in a number of ways. Just when the organization was stopping projects such as coal-fired power plants and a hazardous waste incinerator and establishing the public support to pass legislation forming a Unified Air Pollution Control District, I was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit because I allegedly allowed sexual harassment in the workplace. I had not witnessed, nor had I seen any evidence of sexual harassment, but the organization in Fresno eventually had to close its doors due to the lawsuit: The organization, already in the red, had to settle out of court instead of paying extremely high court costs. At the same time, the organization was evicted from the building where it had rented office space for over four years--not for failure to pay rent, but for failure to pay overdue late charges. As the director, I experienced trouble every day from every side. For instance, a bogus organization, which paid its employees under the table, started canvassing on similar issues. Burglaries of the office became commonplace. The local newspaper started placing our recruitment ad in the sales section of the classifieds even though we were not selling anything. We were simply exercising our right to free speech and involving the public in the democratic process.
   Activism matters in one way at least. Even though laws and policies are always subject to change, and even though activists in places like the San Joaquin Valley remain vulnerable, I have seen how the most effective activists through discipline and sacrifice manifest the ideal virtues associated with the Tree of Life. 

   Sometimes I can't help feeling that I have failed as an activist. Often, as soon as I become effective on an issue, I also become beset by nearly insurmountable problems, and sometimes I never achieve even a fraction of what I had hoped to accomplish. In the process, I have alienated many powerful people in academia and business and politics. I now stand alone, which is not usually a good thing when one is trying to develop public support for a political or moral position. However, I believe now that manifesting the ideal energies associated with the higher self can deeply affect people on the emotional and spiritual levels. 

   The best activists, I have discovered, maintain a powerful sense of "dominion," a strong sense of self. Those who have sacrificed a great deal have had a powerful effect on our collective consciousness. The more they sacrifice, the more they inspire and motivate others to do the real work of creating and maintaining sustainable communities and protecting the angels of the earth.